Category Archives: humour

Seriously, Driving Instructors Need Danger Pay

Every now and then I get a specific kind of email. Not the “happy time pill” email. The “become a driving instructor and earn up to £30k” email. Remembering my driving lessons I used to give these emails a fraction of thought (before considering all the training I’d have to pay for and that that salary is really only acheivable if you’re giving lessons throughout the day, all day, every day).

However, having seen this sort of thing I think I’d be demanding a lot more money. Granted I’d be giving driving lessons in Kent, not Poland but I’m pretty sure there’s people that are just as bad here! How many times does this poor instructor have to grab at and tap his heart! It must be close to bursting with this pupil:

OMFG: It’s Real!

I saw this kicking around online pretty recently, and thought ‘that has to be a send-up.’

omfg

But, lo and behold, it is real! OMFG – that great anachronism – does also genuinely stand for the Official Meeting Facilities Guide. I’m hoping that this was established long before people went online and starting lol’ing and rofl’ing but my hats go off to them for sticking with it and actually managing to obtain such a url too…. then again; perhaps they’re fully aware of the coincidence and went with it anyway making full use of the accidental traffic.

Crazy Dog

Found this, no explanation just plenty of laugh, sharing it:

crazy dog

I have no idea what’s going on, if it’s a sniffer dog catching a whiff of something nasty, whether he’s caught mid-sneeze mid-growl or merely having a fit. All I know is it makes me laugh harder every time I see it

Forget Coke, Pepsi Up The Ante

I never thought I’d be so impressed by a drinks advert (excluding the mighty Guinness ads) until I saw this:

Best ad ever? Surely it’s the best soft drinks ad?

Not Really Selling It….

Sometimes you find something that makes no sense whatsoever. More often than not, it’s a perfume ad. This one’s a car ad from Japan – though of course there’s the language barrier – which just leaves me a bit baffled. There’s no chance these people are lip-syncing to the music so it’s just a bizarre collection of gestures soundtracked by 80’s cheese:

But then, even in English I’m at a loss to explain this advert for the same car:

I took a testdrive in a new Suzuki Alto in Sussex not so long ago – well, I say that, I sat in the back while my partner took a tesdrive in the Alto – and she found it a doddle to park. Though perhaps that’s the joke. Everybody and his brother says small cars are great to park and maybe Suzuki are trying to get away from this being its only use… I don’t know, but it’s really not selling it to me.

Annoyingly Catchy & Baffling

My car is, currently and lamentably, without an audio system at the moment. I can’t find the radio code. The sad thing is that that means I have to entertain myself on the daily commute. Thankfully I don’t car share with anyone because at the moment – despite hearing so many other things during the day, I keep singing along to this:

I saw this advert for the new Mazda2 in Oxford this weekend (yeah, it was raining so a real great time for a weekend away) and keep hearing snatches of it on the tv while I’m wandering around the apartment. Thanks to the ever-so-annoyingly catchy nature of the song it simply reignites the memory and I feel like I’m stuck on an ongoing cycle doomed forever to be singing Mazda advert soundtracks.

Thing is, I’ve seen plenty of these motoring around lately but I can’t tell you anything about them. Certainly not based on the strength of this ad. All I can tell you is that it reminds me of the video for the White Stripes’ Seven Nation Army. Yet another annoyingly catchy song.

Oh, and it makes a lot more sense than this ad for the new SEAT:

Seriously, what are they trying to say: buy the new Ibiza and some hairy biker angel is going to shoot everyone in the vicinity? It makes as much sense as a perfume ad.

Why Driving Instructors Need More Pay

I remember my first driving lessons. Nervous, sweating palms, twitchy feet, hesitant movements and constant double checking of the roads before crawling along and that was just the driving instructor.

I kid, of course. Driving instructors are made of stronger stuff, and with due reason. While my driving lessons in Essex weren’t all that perilous – I’d had more than a few preparatory experiences behind the wheel – I saw and heard of many that were. And it’s not just in the UK too, as a stroll through youtube revealed:

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