Category Archives: Uncategorized

The Best Way To Personalise Your Car?

This post might be a bit of an abrupt left turn following on from the last couple of Awesome Concept Car posts but life’s full of em so it shouldn’t be too much of a problem. Besides, these made me laugh when I found them which is why I’m sharing.

Every now and then I’l come across a dealer website where they talk about the many ways in which your new car can be tailored to suit you more personally. This will usually involve, say, a certain colour of interior trim or the addition of an MP3 friendly audio system.

With used cars, when the warranty isn’t so much of an issue and taste goes out the window, the results are a lot more entertaining.

Take the Honda Civic. A much loved car that’s been hugely popular for decades now. For some though, its styling isn’t quite complete without the addition of some spoilers, styled bumpers and alloy wheels…..

used honda civic

Not to mention these….

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How To Scare A Driving Instructor

This started off a bit slow and “meh” ┬ábut once this guy whips out his mobile….

From what I remember of my driving lessons in Kent, it’s pretty rare to get a lesson in anything other than a driving school’s car and it’s clear looking at this why they want those duel controls so much.

I guess they’re a little more relaxed about the whole thing in the states. Which is odd considering how much of a rage these three fly into. Surely at some point they’d suss out that this dude’s driving pretty confidently for a learner… but then the Yanks are prone to a bit of self-importance and I’m sure an American driving instructor imagines people incapable of mastering a motor vehicle before their arrival.

Baboons Pwn Fiesta Roof Box

Things to do once you’ve bought a nice new Ford Fiesta – take it for a drive, keep it clean and polished. Strap a roof box to it and head off on holiday perhaps.

Things not to – take it for a drive, keep it clean and polished. Strap a roof rack to it and enter the baboon enclosure at a safari park…

I know I shouldn’t laugh but I can’t help it, especially with the constant monkey squeeks. Look at the state of it! They’ve also managed to get rid of the wing mirror too. Problem is, I guess there’s not a lot you can do when covered in baboons, drive off and you risk squishing a few and getting monkey guts on your tyres and in a whole lot more trouble…

Just hope they had a few spare clothes in a suitcase in the car.

Now That’s Gotta Hurt

Clydesdale horses, not exactly the smallest horses in the world. In fact, they can weigh over 950kg and stand at around 6ft in height. Chihauhuas, in contrast, are pretty small. Tiny really. So imagine my surprise when I came across a new story this week that combined the two in a way that can really only be described as miraculous.

Melbourne, Australia: Berry the chihauhua met with the wrong end of Leroy the clydesdale horse. Weighing a whopping 900kg – that’s about 141 stone – Leroy managed to step backwards and on to Berry’s head, leaving just a little bit of doggy nose protruding.

dog horse

Obviously, if this situation presented itself, you would probably imagine a scenario involving a small dead dog with a very squashed head. However, there emerged a “high-pitched screaming noise” as Berry had survived. Rushed to the vets, Berry was in such bad shape that it was suggested she be put down. Of course, her owner didn’t want this and took her home, if only to die in comfort.

Now, the shocking element isn’t that a dog had it’s head crushed by a 141 stone horse and was recommended to be put down. No, the shocking element is that, come morning, Berry was fine. The dog’s owner, Abbey Newton, said “She just got up and ate my other dog’s breakfast.”

Of course, this is great news for Berry and her owner but what of Leroy the clydesdale? Was he grounded? Refined to his equestrian buildings to think about what he’d done? Are the other horses likely to think less of him after he failed to do away with the smallest of dogs? I’m sure none of these are the case and just the product of an other active imagination.

However, this cannot be the only miraculous animal-escape. There must be more? Anyone know of mice surviving elephant feet? Cats chewing the ears off an attacking rhino?

When You Cross A Ferrari With A Citroen…

We’ve all done it, I’m sure. Looked at a Ferrari 355 glinting in the sun, its prancing horse sitting proudly while the engine ticks while cooling down and thought “it’s nice, but… what if it looked more like a Citroen?”

Haven’t we? Well, maybe not but someone with some mechanical nous, and curious thought processes did just that and created:

ferrari citroen

Now I know that the sunny location may be misleading, but this is one Citroen your local Sussex dealer won’t have on its forecourt. Or any dealer in fact. It was created by Italian racing team Como. The spent 5 years building this… mash up. 5 years.

The team are usually at home racing Citroens but decided to mix the body of a Citroen 2CV with no engine with the wreck of a 355 which had a beautifully pristine engine. So, logically enough, they mixed the two to create 180mph Ferrari Van. With Citroen styling.

Yeah, it doesn’t exactly sound like a match made in heaven but I actually really like it. It looks like something Postman Pat would drive if he’d won the lottery and smoked a little something.

The Next GTA… is Gay

Gay Tony in fact.

Xbox Live players will be able to download the next GTA IV episode this autumn, for around 1600 Microsoft Points, as Rockstar unveil GTA The Ballad of Gay Tony.gta ballad gay tony

It will follow Luis Lopez, assisitant to Liberty City nightclub entrepreneur Tony Prince (Gay Tony). Rockstar have said that you can expect an emphasis on “high-end night life” with plenty of GTA style violence and mahem. They will also be releasing The Ballad Of… along with earlier title The Lost and The Damned in disc-based game GTA: Episodes from Liberty City.

It’s not been announced whether either of these titles will spread over to the PS3. The idea of building an online world and then populating it isn’t that new – letting your Sims live in your own-built SimCity, for example – but this could well see a shift in gaming in the same way as online sales have derailed music shops.

Why do I know so much about this? It was emailed to me. As my name is Tony. You can only imagine the Xbox accessories that have been suggested to me so far this afternoon…

Son of a…

It’s Bank Holiday, it’s been raining most of the day and now there’s a storm. So I’ve spent a bit of time catching up with online fun and found this, surely the best name for an auto dealership:

bitch autos

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